.
The thing about on/off relationships is… They’re great until they’re not, they’re the things of dreams, until, suddenly, you’re living a nightmare. They’re the perfect song, on a broken record. They’re a great book, possibly the greatest, but with key chapters missing. They’re breakfast in bed on a powder blue morning, and then days in bed, without eating. They’re breakups that you don’t know how to mourn, because you can’t fathom that this one, this is the last.

They’re drunk break-up sex and drunk make-up texts at 3am. They’re feeling cheated and feeling guilty. They’re feeling loved, they’re feeling special.

They’re intoxicating. Because you keep making the same mistakes, over and over again, because you keep falling into the same pattern. They’re familiar and safe, and like a home you come back to - no matter where, or how broken - it’s a home no less; they know you and you know them.

But see, the thing is, after a while, you no longer hear the music on the broken record - you just hear silence; and you no longer care about the characters, you just want the book to end. Every off, every break chips away.

At some point you realize that love should be more than drunk-3am-s that make you afraid that life will never be that perfect again. At some point you no longer want love to be a roller coaster.

Or so I’ve heard. I hope it’s true. But right now, if you called and asked me to - I’d go back, I’d do it all over again.
m.v., The infinite list of things I know, but wish I felt. (via findingwordsforthoughts)

chadantamoroso:

"When a couple continues to be friends after they break-up it could only mean two things: 1. they’re still in love or 2. they were never in love."

-Anonymous

When you break up with your exes there’s always that temptation to stay friends with them because you cannot imagine not having them…

It’s hard to breathe and I can’t find a way to sleep at night. I want you out of my head but you’re consuming every part of me like a controlling drug and my life is spinning out of control. You said you love me the other day and I so badly want to go off on you. I want to ask you why, why tell me that, why tell me that, and leave it at that and nothing more. Now I’m here blowing my brains out because I don’t know if this is all a game to you or if you truly feel what I feel for you. You drink and drink and it’s only when your veins are swimming in alcohol that you express any type of feelings for me. And they say that drunken words are sober thoughts but I don’t even know what’s sober and what’s drunk. I want to scream at you and at the same time throw you against a wall and kiss you until you say you meant it all. I’m so drained and I can’t take this anymore. I can’t tell you how I feel because I’m scared of what the outcome will be or if I’ll get the unwanted answers for my desiring questions. I want to run, run away as fast as I can but it seems that every night as I rest my head on my pillow I inject myself with a little bit of you and I’m back to relapsing. Back to hating myself for losing you, hating myself for not knowing what you feel, hating myself for falling in love over and over again every time you smile my way.
4:27am (via h0pefulkid-withaninkedupheart)
Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken.’
C.S. Lewis (via feellng)
Perhaps you’re giving up
on life because it’s bad luck
No one’s there for you,
or so you have thought
You feel so lonely
No one there to be by your side
You feel so desperate
No one’s there to help you
You think everyone hates you
But there are some
who appreciates you
You’re giving up too easily
Someone out there
is counting on you
What choice do you have?
Letting someone down
or earning trust?
What do you think you’re doing?
Beating yourself up
or finding some hope?
What do you want to be?
Someone trapped
or someone free?
You trip and fall
But you are able to get back up
You hurt yourself and cry
But you heal and the tears have dried
No matter what happens
Don’t give up
You’re halfway there
So hold onto it
Good things come and go
Bad things come and go
They’re different and the same
When you’re sad, you’re not glad
When you’re up, you’re not down
Whoever you are, be happy about it
‘Cause you need to know that
who you are is special
Life is hard, but don’t dismiss it
You might just end up missing it
Remy Raine, “Your Strength” (via remyraine)

alwaysinanotherworld:

i have the best boyfriend in the world. right before i was supposed to give a speech in english class my teacher shut the lights and turned this video on and after, he walked in with roses. you continue to amaze me everyday, i love you so much baby ♥

iamdramabruhhhh:

I’ve come to realize that nothing last forever. as much as we wish things last forever they don’t it’s just reality. The people we thought would be here for month and months only end up sticking around until they get bored. Once they get bored they drop you like you meant nothing to them in the first place. The friends you thought would be your bestfriends forever end up stabbing you in the back. the people who you trusted with your life end up giving your life up just like it means nothing to them. you can get hurt so many times by the same person that you just keep taking them back because you can’t see life without them. you stat to think that you need them in your life just to keep yourself happy. This person that you’re siting at home crying over no longer cares about you. If they did they wouldn’t lie to you over and over again. If they really missed you they would have it you up already texting you and calling you tell you how much they miss you, but instead of them doing that they’re out living there life up not feeling shit because they never really cared about how you feel. stop sitting around and crying your eyes out about someone who isn’t crying over you. know that you’re a beautiful person and you don’t deserve to be hurt like you did. smile and show that fucker that you’re perfectly fine without him and that you don’t need him in your life to be happy.

sorry I just had to let some people know that there is always a new beginning to every ending.

A wise nigga told me ‘Don’t chase that cash
Follow your heart you’ll make that fast’
J. Cole (World is Empty)